I'm so fucking centered right now
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
