i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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