Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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