i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Someone came in the potted fern
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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