I want to make a zoo with you.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Randomize
