her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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