Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I feel like death gave me a hand job
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
