It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Randomize
