I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
