How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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