I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
