Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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