Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
