so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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