Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
