whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
