she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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