you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
