I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
