He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
