Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
