Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize