He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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