So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
