If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
