that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
