Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
