I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
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