You're my little dorito
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
