69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
