I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
