I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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