hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
