Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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