You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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