Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
