Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
