She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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