i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
