He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
