Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Pants are for mortals
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
