Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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