Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
