Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
