so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
