tell your sister to shave her snatch
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
