Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
