lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
