never play flip cup with pint glasses
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
