guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
