I skipped work to stalk him.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
is it fun? or sober?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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