i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
